The Wall

Louder, so I cannot hear my thoughts. Loud enough so glasses can break, as if they were lullabies falling part, scattered on the floor.

Faster, another shot. I need to stop thinking. Shut it, shut it, shut it.

Memories are screwing things up inside my head. I want to forget, I need to forget. The room seems darker and my heart seems bitter all of a sudden. Despair is starting to demand a riot. Think, think, think. I cannot bear it.

My mind is a chaos but I'm only numb. Don't speak. I can't allow myself to feel anything else than emptiness. Crazy. I'm going crazy. And you're not helping. Get me out of this. Get me out of my shell. Give me shelter, give me hell. I don't know who I am anymore.

Louder, turn the music louder. Just another shot. At last the room is upside down. Sing me a lullaby, sing me until I get lost in my dreams. I can’t wake up alone. I can’t live within myself.

Friends, lovers. Lovers, friends.

Best friends, best friends.

As time passes by I wave my hand goodbye. Am I missing? Have I already begun to disappear?

Another song and more lyrics. Come on and join me. Welcome to the party, let’s sing along!

The room is spinning round and round and the walls are oh so white! It hurts my sight. There’s a pain inside my chest and is eating me alive. A cold shadow lies in the back of my head.

We used to be friends, lovers, best friends.

You know me too well, but I can still fool you. I can lie to everyone; manipulate the world on my behalf. Don’t try to reach me, just dance.

I’m getting sicker and sicker. The sound echoes in my ears. It’s orgasmic and yet not enough. Devour me; play me as if I had always been your favorite song. Take me there, because there was never any real home.

Reality is too much and I can’t handle it. No one cares and I cannot blame them. I don’t care myself either.

Shut it, shut it, shut it down. Brake me and unbrake me. Disarm me and embrace me.

As the world begins to fall, stay by my side. Please don’t you ever leave me now. Don’t you dare! I cannot fight against something so strong. Don’t go. Save me, even if I cannot be saved.

And then I’ll turn the music louder and louder so I won’t be able to hear my deepest thoughts. I won’t be afraid anymore. I will never try.

The wall will never fall.